Why it's important to have friends outside the couple: new research on balance in relationships

Many people dream that their romantic partner is not only their favourite, but also their best friend. But is it really as ideal as it seems? A new study by scientists at the University of Colorado provides a mixed answer.

The work, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, surveyed 940 American adults in relationships. Each was asked to list up to seven significant social relationships, categorising them as "friends", "best friends", "romantic partners" or a combination.

Read more: Natalie Pennington et al, What's in a label? Exploring the intersection of relationships with best friends and romantic partners with well-being, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (2025). DOI: 10.1177/02654075251336872

📊 Only 14% call a partner a best friend

Despite the popular pop culture image of "best friend and love of life", in practice only 14.4% of participants called their partner their best friend. And the older the respondents were, the more often they combined these roles. But a high income level reduced the likelihood of such categorisation.

The study found that those who viewed their partner as their best friend felt more emotional closeness and time together. However, they were also less likely to feel supported by other friends.

🧠 What are the risks of couples who lock themselves away from each other?

The authors note: focusing too much on a partner can lead to a shrinking circle of support. That is, the person gains intimacy in the relationship, but is left alone with difficulties if conflicts or crises arise in the couple.

This is especially important in the context of today's data: according to a Pew Research Center survey, 61% of Americans consider having close friends a key factor in living a fulfilling life, while only 23% consider marriage important.

💡 What does this mean in practice?

The researchers' conclusion is clear: having a strong romantic relationship and having separate friendships are not mutually exclusive, but a desirable balance. Outside support doesn't diminish a partner's importance, but it does strengthen overall well-being.

Psychologists advise: in therapy and in everyday life, it is worth taking into account each person's individual personality and social connections. Role matching can be a resource - but only if social diversity is maintained.