Hilarious horoscope forecast for mid-July for all Zodiac signs

Aries (21 March - 19 April)

Aries, your natural excitement will reach new heights this weekend when you challenge your appliances to a "who can clean the flat faster" competition. Be careful not to pull a hamstring trying to outrun a robot hoover.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Taurus, your stamina will be tested when you attempt to assemble furniture from IKEA this weekend. Remember that duct tape is your friend if the instructions don't work.

Gemini (21 May - 20 June)

Gemini, curiosity will lead you on a three-hour immersion into the world of exotic birds. By Sunday evening, you'll have enough knowledge to start a small aviary or impress those around you with your bird cries.

Cancer (21 June - 22 July)

Cancer, your love of home will be taken to a new level if you venture into the couch-cushion-serial realm this weekend. Just don't forget to bring snacks and something to drink. Crayfish will do as an appetiser, which, by the way, are allowed to be caught 😀

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Leo, your ego will suffer when your karaoke rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" scares the neighbourhood dogs. Don't worry; practice makes perfect.

Virgo (23 August - 22 September)

Virgo, your perfectionist nature will lead you to create the most carefully colour-matched and labelled spice drawer. Be prepared for friends trying to grab your spice jars while you tell them about the health benefits of turmeric.

Libra (23 September - 22 October)

Libra, your desire for harmony will force you to mediate a tense argument between your pets over who gets the prime spot on the couch. Remember to remain impartial, even if your dog stole your sandwich last week.

Scorpio (23 October - 21 November)

Scorpio, prepare for fame after a night out jogging in a fancy dinosaur costume. You're certainly no Loch Ness Monster, but at least you'll get some recognition.

Sagittarius (22 November - 21 December)

Sagittarius, your adventurous nature will have you trying to make a gourmet meal out of what's left over from a Saturday night party. It turns out that tinned beans and ketchup don't make a bad soup, but you can safely try all the easiest recipes on Socportal.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Capricorns, you WILL finally get past that game you've been stuck on for the past six months. Your victory dance will be spectacular, but don't forget the lamp in the living room.

Aquarius (20 January - 18 February)

Aquarius, ready to create a new musical instrument out of kitchen utensils? Who would have thought a cheese grater could sound so... unique? Try recording the soundtrack to Sometimes I'm alone

Pisces (19 February - 20 March)

Pisces, your imagination will lead to the creation of an epic fantasy world. Get ready to take notes!

Remember, friends, whatever the stars have in store, the important thing is the journey, even if it involves unusual hobbies, eccentric inventions and strange adventures.