Sleeping separately with a partner can improve sleep quality

Today, couples more often share a bed, but more and more people are wondering: can sleeping apart be a recipe for a good night's sleep and even... a strong relationship?

In the scientific community, this phenomenon is called sleep divorce. However, as the author of the article in The Conversation, Alix Mellor, clarifies, it would be more accurate to say "sleep divorce", because it is not about the breakup of a relationship, but only a change in the nightly routine.

Why do couples choose to sleep separately?

The main reason is mutual sleep disturbance. The author believes that sleep disturbance can be caused by a variety of factors: snoring, insomnia, sleep talking, different biorhythms, shift work, and preferences for room temperature or lighting.

"Parents of infants often sleep separately so that at least one of them can get a full night's sleep," the author notes. Different habits - for example, one likes coolness and a fan, while the other likes warmth and quiet - also become a reason to separate bedrooms.

What does the research say?

Although many couples claim to sleep better together, objective measurements such as electroencephalograms (EEGs) show: sleeping alone may actually be deeper and longer.

The authors believe that separate sleep is especially beneficial if one partner has a sleep disorder such as insomnia or apnoea. In such cases, he or she unwittingly wakes the other, exacerbating the problem for both.

In addition, numerous studies have linked sleep disturbances to a deterioration in the quality of relationships. Hence, separate sleeping arrangements can be an unexpected way to improve understanding in a couple.

Some insomnia patients share with therapists: "When I sleep alone, I don't feel as anxious - I know I won't disturb my partner and no one will disturb me."

There are cons too

Separate sleeping is not to everyone's liking. Many people feel more secure when a loved one is around. The absence of a partner can cause loneliness.

There are also domestic difficulties: you need two rooms or at least two beds - and not everyone has such conditions.

Society often perceives separate sleeping arrangements as a sign of fading intimacy. However, the authors emphasise, "Less co-sleeping does not mean less sex." Sometimes, on the contrary, couples who sleep better separately feel more energy and desire for intimacy.

One of the patients, according to the author, agreed with her partner on "guest visits": they spend some time together before bed or in the morning, which helps to maintain intimacy and not lose emotional contact.

Who should think about separate sleeping arrangements?

The authors believe that this approach is worth trying if:

• you disturb each other's sleep;

• you have different preferences for temperature, light or noise;

• there are young children in the family;

• one of the partners has a sleep disorder.

If it is not possible to separate rooms, you can try earplugs, a sleep mask or white noise to reduce the influence of extraneous factors.

It's important to remember: separate sleeping arrangements are not a judgement on a relationship. It can be a temporary or flexible solution, for example, for weekdays and weekends together. The main thing is an open dialogue and the agreement of both parties.