Scientists have found: gossiping strengthens romantic relationships

The study Spill the Tea, Honey: Gossiping Predicts Well-Being in Same- and Different-Gender Couples is published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

According to lead author Chandler Sfar, this is the first study to examine how gossiping affects emotional well-being in romantic relationships. The scientists emphasise: gossip is not just idle chatter, but a ubiquitous social phenomenon that can play an important role in emotional intimacy.

The study involved 76 same-sex and opposite-sex couples from Southern California. Each participant wore a handheld EAR (Electronically Activated Recorder) device that randomly recorded about 14% of their daily conversations. The analysis showed that on average, people devoted about 38 minutes a day to gossiping, of which about 29 minutes were in conversation with a partner. Female-female couples gossiped most frequently.

All participants generally reported high levels of happiness, but same-sex couples were more satisfied with their relationships than opposite-sex couples, and the highest levels of relationship quality were seen in female-to-female couples.

Researchers suggest that gossiping together may act as an emotional "glue" between partners. For example, on the way home from a party, discussing the guests - who said what, what they looked like, what their relationship was like - can enhance a sense of unity. Negative comments make partners feel closer to each other than to others, while positive comments help prolong the pleasant emotions.

According to the authors, gossip can also serve as a "social regulation tool", forming mutual expectations and behavioural norms that promote harmony in a couple.

The study was a follow-up to a 2019 paper where Professor Megan Robbins refuted a number of myths: women don't gossip more than men, and low-income people gossip more than rich people; while younger people are more likely to spread negative rumours than older people.

The new paper did not analyse whether the gossip was positive, negative or neutral - it only took into account the fact of discussing absent people.